Random Thoughts

Today while talking to a recent friend rather an acquaintance, we stumbled upon money talk. I wonder why my almost every discussion with a male converges on money. Do men generally think themselves as money pundits or is it i who is eager to find out more and more about their mysterious"hard earned"commodity. Whatever the reason may be, I liked the discussion that followed.

He was of the view that women should not hold on to their careers once they are married. This responsibility should primarily rest on men' shoulders. However impoverished the living standard may be, the women should keep themselves to the houses. He further went on to explain how Pakistani parents wished their daughters to gain adequate education so as to be married off in decent & well to do families. Further usage of their degrees should be a matter between their spouses and in laws. He also expressed how he feared to marry a girl who might put up a fight for her career. Then my husband happended to chip in the discussion and with a look of disgust he said "Duniya may asay asay mard hain kay toba toba. In auroton ko achay mardon kee qadar karni chahiyay paisay ke nahin" Later on both of them declared that "Aj kal ke larkiyan" do not put up with the ups and downs in mens' financial conditions. "Buray waqt ke sathi nahi hain ajkal ke larkiyan" i heard them say.

I heard this discourse with calm. I knew my chances of convincing them, over this ever "smouldering" issue in mens' minds, were minimal.

I told them that the times were changing. Those parents who, in the yore, allowed their daughters to study so as to at the most read and write, were nowadays sending them abroad for higher studies. "Those girls are still getting married in decent families" i told them. As a matter of fact, in some cases the higher education has worked in the girl's advantage in terms of better Rishtas. Once the marriage takes place, it should be a mutual decision between the spouses to decide about the girl's career. And i told them that according to my information, men are being more considerate than ever about their wives careers. Its no more a flat "NO" In fact i am pleasantly surprised that conservative communities such as Multan, which is my husband's native town, have taken a turn over this issue. Not only my mother in law, who is a housewife, vociferously wants me to work but also an uncle from there, who i met some days ago, expressed how earnestly he wanted to take his daughter to USA for her medical degree.

As for "Buray waqt ka sathi" issue, the marriage rate in Pakistan and India is still among the highest in the world.

The guys were not convinced!!!